Arthur paused at the question, then continued to run his suds-covered hands through the other's hair, working the soap deep and thorough, much better at it compared to when they first bathed together in the river.
"Even after months of thinkin' on it, I ain't sure to be honest. Maybe it started in Blackwater when Dutch killed a woman in cold blood. Maybe further back and I just didn't see the signs. We was a small group for a long time, just the three of us. We didn't pick up John until after..."
He paused again, rising off his hands and began to rinse the other's hair out, having him lay back a bit in order to do so.
"When I was twenty two, I met a girl, Eliza, waitress at a place we often visited. We got on fine, more than fine...Well, long story short, she got pregnant. Kept the baby despite knowin' what I was and that I couldn't be there for her all the time. I weren't the settlin' sort, and the gang and loyalty to stayin' with it meant more to me than a kid. Still, did what I could, stopped by whenever we was in the area, gave her money and things when the boy was born."
Arthur's voice kept him feeling grounded, that perhaps if the other man weren't speaking, the Medicine Seller would dreamily drift off.
Instead, he was able to focus on Arthur's tale. Eliza and the child were, obviously, not in the picture. He recalled him motioning that he had lost a wife and child at some point.
He also knew gangs tended to harm family and friends of those members who were out of line.
"She must have loved you dearly," he said, leaning into Arthur's touch.
"Was that the beginning of the schism between you and Dutch?"
"No, wasn't the beginning. As for Eliza, maybe she loved me, don't know for sure, we cared for one another but, my whole being was for the gang and she knew it. She and Isaac, the boy, were robbed and killed some years later. Came back one time and found two crosses outside the house. Learned from a neighbor what happened. Solidified my loyalty to the gang even more. Then, later, I met Mary."
Arthur finished washing the soap from the medicine seller's hair, pressed a kiss to his shoulder and wrapped an arm around him.
"She was a woman of high breedin' you might say, her parents hated me, her father especially, knew what I was. Still, we was in love, for a long time. And after what happened with Eliza, I didn't want to feel that heartache again. Hosea had left the gang for a time, married, figured it was okay for me to do the same. Dutch never protested. So, I asked Mary to marry me." he smiled. "We was young and happy, looking foreword to livin' together and all that. But, of course, great ol' dad weaseled his way in. I couldn't provide for her, spent every dime of my money on that ring and he knew it. Mary eventually relented and well, we broke."
Arthur sighed and sat back with the other man in his arms.
"After that I swore to myself to keep to the gang. Only thing that mattered. Only loyalty mattered. Was my undoing I guess. Blackwater might have been the start of things between Dutch and I, but I didn't see it for myself until it was too late. Until he strangled an old woman, until he walked away from helpin' me when I was a knife's edge from death, until he gave up John for dead, until he refused to help Abigail..."
Resting his arm on the edge of the tub, he dipped his fingers in the soapy water, still warm enough but they'd have to get out soon. "Weren't until that day we last met that I knew loyalty and so many years beside him didn't matter no more."
With his hair done, the Medicine Seller turned on his side to circle his arm around Arthur's shoulders, giving him something to pillow his head on. His other hand came to rest gently on the arm around his waist, trailing his fingers over the damp hairs.
"An endless string of hardships, it seems."
Every time Arthur's life seemed to take a turn for the better, something had to come along and destroy it. His first marriage, his near second, the very gang he devoted himself to...
No wonder he had come to this cool and quiet region. Just a little peace for once in his life.
"...It sounds as though Dutch took a flying leap off the pedestal he put himself on."
He gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, before reaching for one of the towels to start dabbing dry the upper half of Arthur that wasn't in the water.
The warmth was starting to turn tepid, and would soon be not quite enough to counter the cool air of the cabin, and bathtime would soon be over. A shame, but then he could put another log on the fire and they could spend a nice, peaceful evening keeping warm.
"Maybe. Maybe I just dug around the flat rock he'd sat down on and kept digging until I was in my own grave." he sighed.
He allowed the drying, gaze miles away.
"I often thought about going to look for him yea know. See what he has to say to a ghost. Almost did, the day after I buried Hamish. Thought about taking Buell and going out into the world to find Dutch, see what sort of hand life had dealt him after he left me behind."
Slowly Arthur sat up and got out of the tub, taking the towel and working to dry himself off so he wasn't dripping over everything and then held one open to the medicine seller.
Once wrapped up, he pulled him close.
"But I'd rather spend whatever time I got with you, for as long as you'll have me."
"A much more apt metaphor," he agreed, wringing out his hair before stepping out the tub and into the towel. The Medicine Seller leaned into the embrace, arms wrapping around Arthur's shoulders.
"And yet, by some miracle, you have managed to crawl out your grave."
He lay his head in the curve under the other man's chin, eyes drifting shut for a moment. Arthur's pulse was there and real.
"...And that could be for a very long time, Arthur. I do not say I will stay lightly."
He spent some time quietly listening to the life coursing through his veins. Maybe Arthur's days were still numbered, but the count had surely shifted a bit higher than when they met for what the Medicine Seller had thought may be the last time.
"How very Zen," he mused, one hand trailing along Arthur's arm. A wind outside stirred, sending a small susurrus of snowflakes against the window. A heavy snowfall had set in and he wasn't sure if the shiver that went through his body was from the chill or the kiss to his forehead.
Pressing a kiss to the dip in Arthur's collarbone, he peered up at him.
After drying off a bit more thoroughly, Arthur got them a couple blankets and they sat down by the fire as the cold, wind, and snow began to blow outside.
Arthur pulled the medicine seller into his lap, wrapping his arms around him, enjoying the small comfort.
"A branch of Bukkyo," he explained, quite content to stay dressed in only a nice, warm blanket as he settled into Arthur's lap in front of the crackling fire.
"...Buddhism, I mean. Something about spontaneity and being in the moment? I cannot say for certain. The words of monks tend to go in one ear and fall right out the other, especially when they are drunk."
"I guess that makes sense. Usually played a lot by ear considerin' how often our plans went sideways." he chuckled, caressing the other's stomach.
There never seemed to a plan that went right in those last few months. Someone always slipped up or the situation changed. Made it frustrating but, sometimes it worked in their favor. The Valentine bank rob was one of the few that went smooth as could be.
"You uhh...feel like being spontaneous tonight?" he asked, pressing a kiss against the other's neck.
"Mmm," he hummed, head tipping back reflexively. Arthur knew exactly where he was weak, and he was more than happy to let him exploit it.
"I do recall mentioning keeping you warm in the colder months..."
He reaches out of the blanket, letting it fall from his pale shoulder as he ran his fingers over Arthur's cheek and through his hair, stroking the damp locks lazily.
"Sounds wonderful darlin'" he purred, shifting close as he could, his chest pressed against his back, suckling a kiss against his pale shoulder.
When they first met and slept beside one another, the man smelled decent. As a bear though, he could pick up his smell far more clearly. Not just the soap but every person had their own unique scent. The Murfrees were largely gross, the occasional passersby were interesting.
The medicine seller was comfort. Warm and familiar, something he wanted all over him.
Oh, that was very nice - very nice indeed. The Medicine Seller could get very used to that sort of thing. But one good turn deserves another, and when Arthur was done with his shoulder, he turned in his lap to face him, the blanket sliding all the way off to pool at his hips. He shivered in the draft the flames couldn't quite keep at bay, but he didn't mind. That was soon going to be the furthest thing from their minds.
Arthur was about to get exactly what he wanted as the Medicine Seller slid his hands into the blanket to gently stroke his chest, mouth kissing along his brow and temple.
"It is strange, no? After we first parted, I thought often of seeking you out again."
Arthur withdrew so he could turn around, hands caressing his bare thighs, eyes closed as his face was kissed, and he smiled a little at the tiny affections.
"Things got real messy and busy after we left that river. Lost Sean in Rhodes, Kieran to the O'Driscolls, then Hosea and Lenny during the bank robbery. Even if you found me, I doubt I would have allowed us to spend any more time together than we did that final mornin'" he said honestly.
"So much loss in such a short amount of time," he whispered.
"I can see how you would have wanted what little time you had to yourself to grieve."
If Arthur even had the chance to do that. After all, they had been part of the closest thing the other man had to a family and yet he'd had no respite.
Thumbing over his bottom lip, he pressed his bare chest to be flush with Arthur's as he settled comfortably back down, straddling his lap.
"Barely got time to." he admitted "Next thing we was on a boat, and then Guarma. Don't recommend going."
He kissed the finger and then buried his face against his neck, kissing the soft skin.
"Me too."
And he'd be with him for some time, barring either getting fed up with one another or the like.
But that wasn't a problem for tonight. Tonight was for them. No more talk of the past, it was in the past and couldn't be changed. The medicine seller was his present, and his future, which were brighter than he'd seen in a long time.
Rough fingers caressed along the other's thigh and then up to his belly before sliding down to his cock, taking the soft length in hand. "I'm all yours darlin'" he breathed in his ear.
One would think a tropical get-away would do Arthur some good. It seemed quite the opposite. Later though - whatever was going on between his legs was much more interesting at the moment, his cock beginning to stir from the attention.
"And, likewise, I am all yours," he hummed, nuzzling encouragingly into Arthur's hair as he gave him his throat happily.
A thought popped into his head, and he chuckled, deciding to test a little nickname for him.
"Utsukushii kitsune," he said a little breathlessly as his cock twitched to alertness. His hips gave an involuntary roll into Arthur's palm while his own hands traveled down the other man's chest to lightly tease his nipples.
"But I prefer when you when you call me 'darling'," he added.
"Good because I ain't sure I can even try to say them words" he said, flinching at the far more complicated name.
"Darlin' it is then." he moved to kiss his lips, groaning softly at the tease to his nipples and he squeezed his hand around him a bit tighter, thumb brushing over the head of his length.
That got a soft scoffing sound from the Medicine Seller.
"I suspect you are more than capable."
He knew Arthur was far from stupid, but the language lesson would have to wait.
Rather than let himself be distracted, he welcomed the kiss, mouth parting invitingly to let his tongue slip out to tease Arthur's lips while he thumbed his nipples into hardness.
Not particularly difficult, given the chill in the air.
Arthur closed his eyes, returning the tongue teasing happily, burying a hand in his long damp hair, groaning at the tease to his nipples, which perked right up.
He gave more thorough strokes as the other man's cock swelled, before breaking to ask, "Want me to do that tongue thing you did to me?" to further his point, he slid his hand from his dick to behind the medicine seller and teased his backdoor.
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"Even after months of thinkin' on it, I ain't sure to be honest. Maybe it started in Blackwater when Dutch killed a woman in cold blood. Maybe further back and I just didn't see the signs. We was a small group for a long time, just the three of us. We didn't pick up John until after..."
He paused again, rising off his hands and began to rinse the other's hair out, having him lay back a bit in order to do so.
"When I was twenty two, I met a girl, Eliza, waitress at a place we often visited. We got on fine, more than fine...Well, long story short, she got pregnant. Kept the baby despite knowin' what I was and that I couldn't be there for her all the time. I weren't the settlin' sort, and the gang and loyalty to stayin' with it meant more to me than a kid. Still, did what I could, stopped by whenever we was in the area, gave her money and things when the boy was born."
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Instead, he was able to focus on Arthur's tale. Eliza and the child were, obviously, not in the picture. He recalled him motioning that he had lost a wife and child at some point.
He also knew gangs tended to harm family and friends of those members who were out of line.
"She must have loved you dearly," he said, leaning into Arthur's touch.
"Was that the beginning of the schism between you and Dutch?"
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Arthur finished washing the soap from the medicine seller's hair, pressed a kiss to his shoulder and wrapped an arm around him.
"She was a woman of high breedin' you might say, her parents hated me, her father especially, knew what I was. Still, we was in love, for a long time. And after what happened with Eliza, I didn't want to feel that heartache again. Hosea had left the gang for a time, married, figured it was okay for me to do the same. Dutch never protested. So, I asked Mary to marry me." he smiled. "We was young and happy, looking foreword to livin' together and all that. But, of course, great ol' dad weaseled his way in. I couldn't provide for her, spent every dime of my money on that ring and he knew it. Mary eventually relented and well, we broke."
Arthur sighed and sat back with the other man in his arms.
"After that I swore to myself to keep to the gang. Only thing that mattered. Only loyalty mattered. Was my undoing I guess. Blackwater might have been the start of things between Dutch and I, but I didn't see it for myself until it was too late. Until he strangled an old woman, until he walked away from helpin' me when I was a knife's edge from death, until he gave up John for dead, until he refused to help Abigail..."
Resting his arm on the edge of the tub, he dipped his fingers in the soapy water, still warm enough but they'd have to get out soon. "Weren't until that day we last met that I knew loyalty and so many years beside him didn't matter no more."
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"An endless string of hardships, it seems."
Every time Arthur's life seemed to take a turn for the better, something had to come along and destroy it. His first marriage, his near second, the very gang he devoted himself to...
No wonder he had come to this cool and quiet region. Just a little peace for once in his life.
"...It sounds as though Dutch took a flying leap off the pedestal he put himself on."
He gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, before reaching for one of the towels to start dabbing dry the upper half of Arthur that wasn't in the water.
The warmth was starting to turn tepid, and would soon be not quite enough to counter the cool air of the cabin, and bathtime would soon be over. A shame, but then he could put another log on the fire and they could spend a nice, peaceful evening keeping warm.
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He allowed the drying, gaze miles away.
"I often thought about going to look for him yea know. See what he has to say to a ghost. Almost did, the day after I buried Hamish. Thought about taking Buell and going out into the world to find Dutch, see what sort of hand life had dealt him after he left me behind."
Slowly Arthur sat up and got out of the tub, taking the towel and working to dry himself off so he wasn't dripping over everything and then held one open to the medicine seller.
Once wrapped up, he pulled him close.
"But I'd rather spend whatever time I got with you, for as long as you'll have me."
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"And yet, by some miracle, you have managed to crawl out your grave."
He lay his head in the curve under the other man's chin, eyes drifting shut for a moment. Arthur's pulse was there and real.
"...And that could be for a very long time, Arthur. I do not say I will stay lightly."
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"Then we'll play it by ear, and if one day we find we're sick of one another, well, then we'll see."
He pressed a kiss against his forehead.
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"How very Zen," he mused, one hand trailing along Arthur's arm. A wind outside stirred, sending a small susurrus of snowflakes against the window. A heavy snowfall had set in and he wasn't sure if the shiver that went through his body was from the chill or the kiss to his forehead.
Pressing a kiss to the dip in Arthur's collarbone, he peered up at him.
"Shall I put another log on the fire...?"
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After drying off a bit more thoroughly, Arthur got them a couple blankets and they sat down by the fire as the cold, wind, and snow began to blow outside.
Arthur pulled the medicine seller into his lap, wrapping his arms around him, enjoying the small comfort.
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"...Buddhism, I mean. Something about spontaneity and being in the moment? I cannot say for certain. The words of monks tend to go in one ear and fall right out the other, especially when they are drunk."
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There never seemed to a plan that went right in those last few months. Someone always slipped up or the situation changed. Made it frustrating but, sometimes it worked in their favor. The Valentine bank rob was one of the few that went smooth as could be.
"You uhh...feel like being spontaneous tonight?" he asked, pressing a kiss against the other's neck.
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"I do recall mentioning keeping you warm in the colder months..."
He reaches out of the blanket, letting it fall from his pale shoulder as he ran his fingers over Arthur's cheek and through his hair, stroking the damp locks lazily.
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When they first met and slept beside one another, the man smelled decent. As a bear though, he could pick up his smell far more clearly. Not just the soap but every person had their own unique scent. The Murfrees were largely gross, the occasional passersby were interesting.
The medicine seller was comfort. Warm and familiar, something he wanted all over him.
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Arthur was about to get exactly what he wanted as the Medicine Seller slid his hands into the blanket to gently stroke his chest, mouth kissing along his brow and temple.
"It is strange, no? After we first parted, I thought often of seeking you out again."
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"Things got real messy and busy after we left that river. Lost Sean in Rhodes, Kieran to the O'Driscolls, then Hosea and Lenny during the bank robbery. Even if you found me, I doubt I would have allowed us to spend any more time together than we did that final mornin'" he said honestly.
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"I can see how you would have wanted what little time you had to yourself to grieve."
If Arthur even had the chance to do that. After all, they had been part of the closest thing the other man had to a family and yet he'd had no respite.
Thumbing over his bottom lip, he pressed his bare chest to be flush with Arthur's as he settled comfortably back down, straddling his lap.
"Though I am glad I found you again."
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He kissed the finger and then buried his face against his neck, kissing the soft skin.
"Me too."
And he'd be with him for some time, barring either getting fed up with one another or the like.
But that wasn't a problem for tonight. Tonight was for them. No more talk of the past, it was in the past and couldn't be changed. The medicine seller was his present, and his future, which were brighter than he'd seen in a long time.
Rough fingers caressed along the other's thigh and then up to his belly before sliding down to his cock, taking the soft length in hand. "I'm all yours darlin'" he breathed in his ear.
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"And, likewise, I am all yours," he hummed, nuzzling encouragingly into Arthur's hair as he gave him his throat happily.
A thought popped into his head, and he chuckled, deciding to test a little nickname for him.
"...Aru-kuma."
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His other hand came around to rest on the small of his back, caressing the skin as he kissed his neck, teeth scraping against the soft sensitive area.
The name had him chuckle and pull away to look at him. "Aru what?"
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He smiled into his hair, and let his lips wander to nibble along the rim.
"Were-bear. Where bear? There bear. Arthur-bear."
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He pressed kisses along the other man's neck and shoulder, the hand around his cock taking up stroking him to life.
"Aru-kuma huh? What about you? How do I say 'beautiful fox'?"
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"But I prefer when you when you call me 'darling'," he added.
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"Darlin' it is then." he moved to kiss his lips, groaning softly at the tease to his nipples and he squeezed his hand around him a bit tighter, thumb brushing over the head of his length.
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"I suspect you are more than capable."
He knew Arthur was far from stupid, but the language lesson would have to wait.
Rather than let himself be distracted, he welcomed the kiss, mouth parting invitingly to let his tongue slip out to tease Arthur's lips while he thumbed his nipples into hardness.
Not particularly difficult, given the chill in the air.
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He gave more thorough strokes as the other man's cock swelled, before breaking to ask, "Want me to do that tongue thing you did to me?" to further his point, he slid his hand from his dick to behind the medicine seller and teased his backdoor.
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